The Chaos of Healing

This article is written/contributed by Rachel L. Neumann
Visit her website at rachellneumann.com

Did you expect your healing journey to be simple, linear, straight forward? Maybe you thought, ‘now I know what’s wrong, what to take, what to do, I’ll just do it!’ Simple, right? Not so quick. It’s going to be quite the wild ride.

Healing is just darn messy, even haphazard, unstructured, like a fantastical fractal pattern everything connects to everything else. Like balls and balls of colored yarn, all tangled up in messy knots of chemistry, neurology, emotional triggers, and limiting beliefs, life creates the messiness of what we have come to know as our ‘personality,’ or the ‘real me.’ Because of this fractal design that exists in all of nature, the healing journey, both emotionally and physically, is always ‘non linear,’ chaotic, and unpredictable.

On top of the messiness, and buried beneath the obvious hurts and confusion, lay the hidden traumas of the inner child, obscured by the trials of life. These old childhood traumas play their game of hide and seek. We get glimpses in the quiet moments, hints at the subconscious minefields that lie in the deeper shadows of our minds. Until a greater light shines on them, we never quite know the power of their force and influence on our lives.

We go about life in a kind of fog really, with the spell of our family pedagogy imprinted on each and every cell. Consciousness, thoughts, will power, and feelings, receive their programming and are acted upon by the daily routine of our lives.

As Earnie Larson, author, lecturer and recovery coach, would say; ‘What we live with, we learn, and what we learn we become.’ This, then becomes the set-point of how we develop and how we become ‘who we are.’ We barely ever ‘think’ about who we are, or where we are going, and as a consequence, we rarely ever make real and legitimate conscious choices.

This is the programming that masquerades as the ‘real me,’ but it is a false self, an interloper, a puppet on a string, and a victim to the dysfunctional spell of family history, society, myth, and religious programming. This programming informs DNA, strength and structure, weaknesses and propensity to dis-ease and mineral imbalances.

There IS a structure, a fractal design, although the structure is not readily familiar territory to the earth traveler, at least not until we have begun our deep and treacherous inner work.

There is a map, an ancient blueprint for the body/soul to follow. It’s a pity that we are seldom introduced to this map and therefore lack the very basic directions for life.

Ordinary consciousness alone is not an adequate tool of navigation through the dark and mysterious world of the subconscious mind. This is what the powers of observation and meditation are for. We can never truly heal without the help of true conscious awareness.


Copyright 2019 © by Rachel L. Neumann of Your Pathway to Empowerment. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article in its entirety as long as you credit Rachel L. Neumann, the author by name, and include a working link back to this web page. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

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